April 1, 2011, Maple City, MI – Today financial magnate, reality TV star and Presidential aspirant Donald Trump unveiled “Trump Leelanau”, a combined hotel, office park and high-end pet spa in Maple City. At 1723 feet, the soaring structure easily surpasses the Willis Tower in Chicago as the tallest building in the United States.
“Those who know me know that I like to dream big, and go big,” The Donald explained. “Michigan has really been hurting and I wanted to make a statement that it’s time for Michigan to go big or go home. I chose Maple City because everyone knows that you can’t beat the jerky at Gabe’s and also because I found out that Maple City residents spend an average of $67 per year more on pet recreation than the national average.”
Long-time Maple City resident Lois Flaska expressed a common sentiment, telling us “Well like everyone else, it’s taking some getting used to for me when I take Mr. Fluffles for a walk and all of the sudden bam! there’s this giant building up there and I think I’m in New York or something.
It’s really nice that Mr. Trump is offering a 50% discount to all Maple City residents on pet grooming – Mr. Fluffles really loves his new ‘do!”